Prayer at 7:00, Salsa at 9:00.

My aunt Arwa stayed a weekend with me in Abu Dhabi. The weekend I was looking forward to a Salsa (Dance) Festival on Friday, and I invited her to join me. She was always keen on beginning dance classes but never found the courage to walk through the door. We were driving back home from the Friday prayers at the mosque and she brought up the dance festival – “Rawan, how do you pray and read Quran and then go spend an evening dancing with other men?

I was always well aware that I live with many contradictions but they were slowly embedded within my subconscious. Moving to UAE from Kuwait meant I was getting acquainted with new people including my colleagues. Being a Muslim Arab and my colleagues being from all parts of Europe we had a lot to share and learn. My contradictions started to re-surface as we got to know each other.

I feel self conscious when I am wearing anything too revealing walking through the mall, but I don’t mind wearing a two piece at the beach – a carefully selected beach. My foreign colleagues found it interesting how Muslim-Arab women (including myself) are selective when greeting men they know. I would greet a certain man with a firm handshake, but eagerly hug another – based on how comfortable or close we are. It would be inappropriate to be physically close to someone on a first date yet dancing up close and personal with a stranger is completely normal, because we are within the context of a class and teacher environment.

“I don’t want to go somewhere where they serve alcohol – I performed Hajj just the other year!”

It was 4:00 pm, just a few hours away from the Salsa Festival. I had already bought accessories and a Pirate’s hat (the festival’s theme was pirates of the caribbean) and I was putting together the outfit I would wear. My aunt looked at me and said “you know what Rawan, darling, I’m not going to go. You won’t go either!”. She wasn’t dictating if I could go or not but she just hoped I would listen and take her advice. She continued “if it were a class I would go but this is an event at a bar and there’s going to be alcohol. I don’t want to go somewhere where they serve alcohol – I performed Hajj just the other year!”

Listening to all this I started questioning my own beliefs. My own contradictions that I live at peace with every day. I started picturing the worst case scenarios that could happen at the dance festival and decided to not go. Besides, I really enjoy my aunt’s company and wanted to spend the evening with her. On the other hand, I can say now I am most probably going to attend a salsa festival in the future.

My dad is the kindest person I know…he insults other countries and religions on the daily.

There is no doubt that every modern day Arab/Muslim lives a contradictory life one way or another. But its not just religion or traditions that we might contradict with our actions. My dad is the kindest person I know. When it comes to real human interaction, he knows nothing about race, religion or even language. But in the context of his profession – a politician in the Middle East region – he insults other countries and religions on the daily. I have friends who preach about protecting privacy while posting details about their personal lives on social media.

“Humans live peacefully with contradictions precisely because of their capacity to compartmentalize..”

Living in contradiction with inner thoughts and values isn’t always a cause for crisis. “We compartmentalize knowledge, practices, and emotions. In certain domains of life, some behaviors and thoughts are acceptable but not in others. For instance, in labs, scientists can produce evidence based research in the context of their professional lives, then go home and attend religious prayers addressing the existence of invisible entities..Humans live peacefully with contradictions precisely because of their capacity to compartmentalize” – David Berliner

..but I do invite you to think about your own thoughts and beliefs – do they contradict your actions?

This whole weekend caused my aunt and I to open a long discussion about inevitable contradictions. “We are human,” she began to explain. “Allah loves it when the worshiper sins and asks for forgiveness. And then falls weak in the trap of his sin and asks for forgiveness again”. We then began to argue about whether salsa dancing is a sin or not. I won’t share my opinion about it but I do invite you to think about your own thoughts and beliefs – do they contradict your actions?

Living a contradictory life is profoundly, perhaps definitively, human. – David Berliner

حُب وكُنون
love & inner peace,
rawan